Don't Worry, Be Thankful

Today was one of those days. I don't feel worried, but I am wondering how things will turn out. I think I've disguised worry with wonder.

I called my dear friend Earnestine Phillips, as I've often done when I'm stressed. Over the years I've gone to her for so many things. She is always gracious enough to stop whatever she's doing to listen and help. She just knows what to say. She won't listen to a pity party, because there is no need for it. She uplifts me with her words of encouragement and sometimes won't even remember saying it. I truly believe at times He speaks through her.

Today, she emailed me this wonderful clip of Smokey Norful singing Dear God, and saying exactly what I feel in this moment.

The Voice

To audition or not to audition? That is the question.

New York In October

Earlier this year I decided to go to New York for the month of October and audition like crazy for next year. I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew, but I am determined to stick to the plan! Years ago, one wouldn't have to go to New York from LA to audition because many theatre companies came here to find talent. Now they hardly come, and if they do they send the c-squad of dog-walking assistants. I'm just tired of waiting to share what I have with them. I'm going there to let them know what they've been missing.

Full Show with Lyrics Born in Nashville April 13, 2011

Stay Motivated: A Conversation with Jennifer Beals

There is a musical I really dislike, but there are great parts for me in it. I have auditioned for this show a few times. Everytime I've gone, I've sung my heart out and always new my heart was not even in the building. I'm positive I had that "I hate this show" look on my face. I have tried my best to mask it, but I've felt nothing can make me like these awful songs.

Well, on June 10th I attended an event called Conversations through the Screen Actors Guild Foundation. It's a really great thing they do for members of SAG, AFTRA, and AEA  (which I am a proud member of). They screen an upcoming movie or tv show then aftewards they hold a Q&A with some of the actors. This time it was for The Chicago Code and the interview was with Jennifer Beals, who happens to be my favorite actress. My friend Earnestine was very kind and invited me to go with.


I had a wonderful time. The show was great, although it was already cancelled by the time we went. Jennifer was just lovely and very smart. She even answered my question I had so nervously written before the screening and spoke directly to me! I learned a lot from her that day. There was one thing that really struck me as an "aha moment". Someone asked what she did when she felt like quitting. She told her she never felt like quitting or giving up. Then Jennifer went on to say the most profound thing; everytime she auditions she is always happy to be there because she gets to do what she loves to do most. It allows her to share her talent with them if only for a moment. She spoke of how grateful she was to have an opportunity to perform. I actually teared up. I truly understood, but I also felt I'd let myself down. I love being given the chance to show my gifts, but I'm not always excited to go. That moment I knew it holds me back when I don't want to be there. No matter how good I am, it will peek through. In that second I made a choice. I chose to be excited, thrilled, overjoyed, and grateful everytime I am called to perform in any way. Whether it's doing a show for thousands or auditioning to be Tree #3, I will be pumped and motivated.

So, yesterday, I went into that audition room and gave the best audition I've ever given in my life, and that is saying alot! I know I have been spectacular many times in auditions, but this was different. I've never felt so free and connected to any piece I've performed. I left that room knowing I did what I was born to do. I was so present, focused, motivated, and grateful, that I cried when I left.

I don't know yet if I've been chosen, rehearsals won't start until February, but I do know if they don't hire me it's not because I didn't give what was needed. I left there thinking the songs in the show aren't that bad after all.

Great MS Site

There is a great site called All About MS. It is really informative. They followed me on Twitter one day so I checked them out. Their articles tend to be short, so you won't doze off half way through. There is news about new developments in the effort to cure MS, updates on the goings-on in our community, and many interesting facts on the history of the disease. I never knew "the first records of a disease with MS-like symptoms date from 1400"! As a person with MS, I try to stay as up-to-date as possible. By doing so, I ease my fears. It's good to know the results of any new studies and treatments.

Check them out. You can also like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.